Off the Wall: Man Arrested For Casting Shadow On Pride Crosswalk
From the Babylon Bee
In an incident that brought swift condemnation from Democrats across the country, a local man was immediately arrested and charged with a hate crime for casting a shadow on a Pride crosswalk.
The brazen act was allegedly perpetrated by a man later identified as Leonard Morgan, an electrician who claimed to have simply "walked by" the crosswalk on his way to a customer's house. Witnesses said Morgan's shadow could be clearly seen being cast over the crosswalk for over two seconds, which was a clear violation of the law.
"There's no place in this city — or our society as a whole — for this type of bigotry," said a Police Department spokesperson after Morgan was taken into custody. "Once we received multiple reports that someone had allowed their shadow to pass over a Pride crosswalk, we responded quickly and forcefully. Pride crosswalks must be kept free from any mistreatment at all times. Using the angle of the sun to show your hate is not acceptable."
Morgan denied any wrongdoing. "I was just walking across the street," he said. "I didn't even know there was a Pride crosswalk there. I'm actually colorblind, so I couldn't even see the rainbow paint. I don't hate anyone. I love everybody. Not like that, though. I'm not gay."
The district attorney's office was expected to…
If this was regarding the EU/UK etc. it would be entirely plausible. That in itself is truly pathetic, but true.
Onward, Christian soldiers!