Off the Wall: The CIA’s Rectal Tool Kit
The Cold War’s Most Uncomfortable Escape Plan
The Cold War’s Most Uncomfortable Escape Plan
(Commonplace Fun Facts) - The CIA’s rectal tool kit sounds like a joke, but it was a serious Cold War escape device—revealing how spycraft solved impossible problems.
When you think of espionage, you probably picture glamour. James Bond in a tailored suit. A watch that shoots a poison-tipped dart. Chewing gum that doubles as a high-yield explosive. Even when spy fiction goes intentionally campy—Get Smart, for example—it still delivers the goods: phone shoes, hidden radios, spy gadgets that solve problems without disrupting one’s posture or dignity.
In this version of spycraft, technology is sleek and heroic. When our agent gets into trouble, he taps a button, fires a gadget, escapes in a cloud of smoke, and straightens his cufflinks on the way out.
We are going to gently but firmly take that fantasy behind the woodshed.
We’re guessing that in your wildest dreams, you probably never imagined 007 solving a problem by reaching somewhere typically reserved for proctologists, medical textbooks, and deeply unfortunate emergency room visits. You likely did not picture the pinnacle of Cold War ingenuity involving careful machining, tight seals, and a level of personal commitment no tuxedo was ever designed to…