Off the Wall: The Man Who Wouldn't Die
No. Seriously, He Just Wouldn't!
Michael Malloy’s murder was supposed to be easy. Instead, the “man who wouldn’t die” drank poison, ate shrapnel, survived a hit-and-run, and became a legend. Here’s the true crime tale so strange, you’ll think it’s fiction.
If Hollywood ever makes a biopic about Michael Malloy, it’ll have to be part comedy, part horror, and part superhero origin story. Because what started as a plan to commit insurance fraud turned into one of the most bizarre—and darkly hilarious—true crime tales in American history. Malloy, a homeless Irish immigrant in 1930s New York, did the unthinkable: he refused to die. And not in the “he battled cancer bravely” kind of way. No, Malloy straight-up tanked poison, car crashes, and arson attempts like he was auditioning to be the next X-Man.
Let’s uncork a bottle of wood alcohol, raise a toxic toast, and meet the man whose superpower was being too stubborn to die.
Enter the Murder Trust (aka the Dumbest Criminals in the Bronx)
Our story begins in 1932 in a speakeasy in the Bronx, operated by a man named Tony Marino. Like many during the Great Depression, Marino wasn’t rolling in dough—unless you count the soggy kind stuck to the bottom of a bootleg whiskey barrel. So he and a few pals—Joseph “Red” Murphy, Daniel Kriesberg, and petty criminal Hershey Green—hatched a plan that was equal parts evil and idiotic: find a down-and-out nobody, take out multiple life insurance policies on him, and then make sure he conveniently stops breathing.
Enlisting the assistance of a shady insurance agent, the group took out multiple insurance policies on Michael Malloy, a 50-something former firefighter turned hopeless alcoholic with no known…