‘You’re At The Wrong Church,’ Responds Joel Osteen To Man Proclaiming ‘Jesus Is Lord!’
(Babylon Bee) - Eyewitnesses at Lakewood Church reported that a congregant who shouted "Jesus is Lord" during a morning service was quickly told by Joel Osteen "I think you're at the wrong church."
Sources say that the incident happened shortly after someone stood up during an Osteen talk to declare the sovereignty of Christ.
"Whoa there, bud. I think you belong at the much smaller church down the street," said Osteen. "I'm the one around here who gets to declare what blessings I receive — not some 'Jesus' fella."
Osteen then declared several words of victory and assurance over himself and continued with his speech, naming and claiming another yacht. "I keep my mind focused on yachts, which is why God gives me yachts. You're the one…